Well, im 2 days out of surgery and home. I feel pretty good very little pain. I dont really feel hungry. But have been sipping on Sugar Free carnation instant breakfast all day along with water. I got up at 8 did my 15min walk and at 3pm did another 15min walk i might get another one in I dont know. Depends on how I feel.
Thanks to everyone for the well wishes and offers to get me stuff if I need it. I really appreciate it. Off to go take bandages off and shower…
I have been so busy with my family, my Pure Romance buisness, meeting great people and being kidnapped by a wonderful friend daily doing different things that I have neglected to post lately. So yea, June 11th is my surgery date. And for those who do not know well, now ya do Im going in for weight loss surgery. It has taken me several times of yes and no’s to finally say “ok let’s do it” And it is not because im not comfortable with who I am. I know im sexy and beautiful and im very confident and comfortable in my own skin in and out of clothes..hahaha! It is just I finally let it sink in that I am not healthy and with all the health related issues we have weighing on my side of my Mother family in order for me to be around to see Grandchildren I need this… And saying yes to this procedure has been the hardest thing for me to give into admitting that im not healthy but I feel it!!. I get out and play with my son and do things with the family. I don’t get tired running up 3 flights of stairs. Im a healthy fat girl and im proud of it. But medicaly im not. I have been prcrastinating on taking “final measurements” because I don’t want to see them. And for those who know me know that Im a pretty tough cookie on the outside with very little emotion and heart 99.9% of the time. But right now I hurt. My heart hurts, my feelings hurt that I have allowed myself to get this big and gain this weight with no excuse to back it up but childbirth. No, not all of it that but majority of it is. When I stop to think that I am medically classified as “morbidly obese” I just do not see that person in the mirror. I see a wonderful strong caring woman, a great mother, a loyal wife..who wants nothing to but to be happy with herself and for years I have done nothing but hide that happyness with pain that I pushed away till now. A friend once told me when we were stationed at Fort Polk. “I wish I could be like you Gina. A big girl but yet so damn sexy and confident” That is what I ALLOWED her to see. What she doesn’t see is the other side of Gina that a small select get to see and experience. Im deep and dark at times and very seldom let that part of me out. Not even to my own spouse. So, with that being said as I start my journey to the new me. Remember, take care of yourself now before it’s to late to do so and there is no 2nd chance…
Well, I guess now is the time I wait for the call with a date given to me. I have complete all the steps labs, classes, radiology, psychological and finally turned my checklist with dates and signatures in last week. I think now im more nervous, anxious to get the show on the road. Pre-op pictures are coming but I think I’m going to wait till like the day before I go to do it. Don’t want no one getting overly excited over my hot sexy self!..LOL. Finally found the video camera too so I can take video while in the hospital. I Don’t know If it will get posted right then and there but within a day or so at least. So, for now I will leave you with a word from your sponsor..LOL..ok, maybe not ..*toodles*!
I don’t know where to start or how to start but figured I would just let my fingers start typing. This is the beginning of a new journey for me and also my family. I have decided to for go bariatric surgery. Yes, you read correct.. And those who know me know that I have been against this for a few years. I have always thought of it as an easy way out to loosing weight (no offense to those who have had it done) I mean I have no excuse to be the weight I am. I don’t excercise on a regular basis and I have poor eating habits. Actually they are not poor they just don’t exist. You could call me a binge eater. Breakfast is very minimal if not at all I may eat a big lunch and or nothing then dinner is a large meal. I stay up late and often snack while playing on the computer. There was no intention of even making this decision that day I went to the Doctor for a knee injury. My physician had asked me a few times If I had considered the surgery and each time I would throw my hand up quickly and cut her off with a quick “no thank you”. Till one day I asked her If I was just able to gether information and go from there. I had researched and looked into it. Also, had friends who have had it done and listened to their experiences as well. After some research and going to a few classes I think this is the for me. Yes, it’s a difficult journey but such a healthy journey.
For years I have denied the fact that I am overweight. When I look in the mirror I see a plus size woman but I don’t see a morbidly obese woman and that is what class I fall into. I guess because all my blood levels have been great I still figured I was healthy. Afterall, my husband loves me who do I need to lose weight for and impress. That’s where the denial comes in I do need this. I get on the scale and see that im a few lbs away from 300 and a few months ago at my heaviest I was over the 300 mark. That was a sad day in my life I cried and David would tell me “it’s ok” but it’s not. It’s not ok to weigh about 130 lbs over what you should. But, I do and im finally not happy with myself for allowing me to get this far.
A few friends have always said ” I wish I could be like you” meaning to be overweight and have confidence. I am a very confident person who has a great personality I know that. But, what they don’t see are the moments I do look in the mirror and say “ugh” to myself. I don’t let to many people into my life. I can probably count on one hand the people who really know me. What I don’t let people see is that I do cry, I do care ,and have a heart.LOL…
So, im going to be using this as a venting tool for me and my emotions. I know I will have good days and bad days. Please feel free to ask questions and what not. I am not hiding that fact that I am having this done. I have heard people say “I’m on a doctor assisted weight loss program” or ” I play a lot of sports and drink water” I’m not embarrassed about FINALLY admitting that I do need help with food addiction. So through this blog and posting pictures and the support of my friends I know I will make it through this and have a successful weight loss. Stay tuned for more!
Testing from iPhone which should and I say should go from phone to blog to Twitter then to Facebook hahah I’m hoping!
Devan hurt his foot yesterday riding his bike. While falling his foot was stuck in the chain. Since this was right before football practice we continued to press on maybe they could take a look to see what they though knowing between all of them they had 100+yrs of coaching and playing time. So afterwards Devan came home elevated his foot and went to bed. This morning I told him to get up. It was about 6am and I wanted to see if he was able to stand or how much pain he is in. Well, needless to say that didn’t last long. He took two steps and was done. about 11am we finally got things straight and ready to go to the ER. Doc their says he doesnt think its broke. And after having someone from Xray look they “couldn’t tell” We have an appointment for Tuesday with Ortho to get it looked at. Wish us luck!
Haven’t been here in a while. I was doing good posting daily but just other stuff got in the way. A little bit of an update on us. Devan is now in 6Th grade, playing football for the Jr. Pro league as Quarterback. He is really good and kinda made me shed a tear thinking about how much he has grown up lately maturity level wise. David is doing good. His back is still bothering him but he is hanging tough and still stubborn as always..I myself am still just me. Stubborn like my mother,Straight and to the point like my Father. Business is off to a slow start but hope to pick up here in the coming months. Just gotta find out what works for me and go forward.
I told myself this morning that I needed to start being more organized. Coming up with my own chore chart I guess you could call it. Otherwise I find myself picking and choosing my days to clean and spending time playing xbox while the house is quiet. Sooo, I think today is going to be a google day to learn organization. We will see how long it will last. So till next time…thanks for reading and leave any comments..See ya!..XOXO
Well, it’s almost 4:30am and David is just now getting home from work after being there all day. I guess since one NCO didn’t allow the floor to be stripped,waxed and mopped correctly ALL NCO’s who had duty this weekend had to report tonight for “corrective training”..Most wives would bitch and moan but after doing my own time in the Army I know how the system works. So I decided to pull an all nighter in order to make sure that he is able to sleep for about 45min and wake up on time to be back into work at 6am for PT. Coffee in hand here I am.
Devan is gone to Virginia for the summer and the house is quiet. We don’t have the kids knocking on the door ever 10min asking for Devan to come out. The animals are still lazy and the turtle is getting bigger by the day.
Since my days after getting out of the Army..Then being a Firefighter, 911 Operator, worked in a jail. I have not worked now since 2004. And I must say that although it is nice. I have now become quite bored sitting at home. So, after much consideration and what to do to keep myself busy. I have decided to become a Pure Romance Consultant. I love everything the company stands for. And of course the other perks that come with being your own boss. I am able to make my own hours, make my own money. And still be able to be there for Devan when he goes to school and when he comes home. ALso I love being involved in the PTO and with middle school being such a milestone in his life that he is now starting I will be able to be here for him as well. So good luck to me I know Pure Romance will be a good move!
I wonder why lately I have become so testy and bitchy to people. Is it age that is causing me to become so hostile. Or is it just more people in the world who are ignorant. Either way I have found myself less and less patient with people and I hardly know why.I have gotten to the point where I don’t care what I say and I don’t care how it makes people feel. Because I think of it as “they wouldn’t care about me!” I dunno maybe I’m wrong. And don’t just think it’s everyone I am like this too just those who need to be woken up to reality.
Other than this 4:30 Random blog not much else has gone on. Life is good!
It was soo crowded there was no way possible for me to get any closer. But you can hear Devan’s name being read off. Not a very long video but my baby isn’t a baby no more wwwaaahhh!!!
Enjoy
Just Me Gina 