June 11th is drawing near…

I have been so busy with my family, my Pure Romance buisness, meeting great people and being kidnapped by a wonderful friend daily doing different things that I have neglected to post lately. So yea, June 11th is my surgery date. And for those who do not know well, now ya do Im going in for weight loss surgery. It has taken me several times of yes and no’s to finally say “ok let’s do it” And it is not because im not comfortable with who I am. I know im sexy and beautiful and im very confident and comfortable in my own skin in and out of clothes..hahaha! It is just I finally let it sink in that I am not healthy and with all the health related issues we have weighing on my side of my Mother family in order for me to be around to see Grandchildren I need this… And saying yes to this procedure has been the hardest thing for me to give into admitting that im not healthy but I feel it!!. I get out and play with my son and do things with the family. I don’t get tired running up 3 flights of stairs. Im a healthy fat girl and im proud of it. But medicaly im not. I have been prcrastinating on taking “final measurements” because I don’t want to see them. And for those who know me know that Im a pretty tough cookie on the outside with very little emotion and heart 99.9% of the time. But right now I hurt. My heart hurts, my feelings hurt that I have allowed myself to get this big and gain this weight with no excuse to back it up but childbirth. No, not all of it that but majority of it is. When I stop to think that I am medically classified as “morbidly obese” I just do not see that person in the mirror. I see a wonderful strong caring woman, a great mother, a loyal wife..who wants nothing to but to be happy with herself and for years I have done nothing but hide that happyness with pain that I pushed away till now. A friend once told me when we were stationed at Fort Polk. “I wish I could be like you Gina. A big girl but yet so damn sexy and confident” That is what I ALLOWED her to see. What she doesn’t see is the other side of Gina that a small select get to see and experience. Im deep and dark at times and very seldom let that part of me out. Not even to my own spouse. So, with that being said as I start my journey to the new me. Remember, take care of yourself now before it’s to late to do so and there is no 2nd chance…

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